If you’re a mother and a recovering miscarriage survivor, it’s probably not a surprise that you’re having a tough time figuring out how to talk about your miscarriage to your family and friends.
But the answer may be simple: talk.
“If you can get a family member or friend to talk, it will be a huge relief,” said Katie Baskin, M.D., a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University and an obstetrician-gynecologist.
“When you do it with a friend, you can talk about it without them thinking that’s not okay.
You can talk without them having any preconceived ideas.”
You might be able to make a few small changes to your life, Baskins said.
For starters, start talking about your feelings.
“You can say, ‘I really love you and I miss you,’ or, ‘We miss you and we’re sad.’
Or, ‘This is what I feel like, this is what we’re feeling right now,’ ” Baskan said.
Have a drink. “
Talk to a friend.
Have a drink.
Sit down with someone you trust and let them tell you what they’re feeling and what they need to hear,” she said.
Talk to a nurse.
Talk with a family.
Talk, talk, talk.
“Just be present,” Baskyn said.
Talking about your loss will not only help your loved ones understand you, but also help you feel less alone.
“What is important to understand about this is that it’s not going to bring you happiness, it is not going, it just is,” Basket told New York magazine.
“But I think it will help you understand that it is a part of your life.”
For a better understanding of miscarriage and miscarriage recovery, Basket recommends talking to a family friend.
“People need to know they have support.
I think they need help to have that support and to get through this, too,” she added.
Talking to family members can be difficult.
“I think a lot of times, if you’re not in a place to talk directly with your family member, you may not be able find someone who will,” Basking said.
So talk to someone who’s already in the conversation, and who knows how to help.
“That’s a great place to start, is to have a conversation with your doctor or the family doctor or another person,” Bawson said.
If you need a more formal, more personal conversation, Basking suggests you talk with your physician or a family doctor.
“In general, talking to your physician about your situation is not necessarily a bad thing,” Batch said.
But “when you talk to a person who is, for example, a family practitioner, it may be a little more difficult because they might not be the best person to understand your situation.
That’s where you might want to find someone that can provide that support,” she continued.
Talking with a physician is important, Batch explained.
“My patients have had the same conversation with me about miscarriage recovery with me,” she explained.
When it comes to family and medical professionals, it can be hard to know where to begin.
“There are some things that are obvious to all of us: When we get a miscarriage, we’re still grieving, we still want to know how it happened, and it’s still not right, so it’s important for a family to know that you are feeling it, and that it isn’t okay,” Bany said.
And while there are some simple things you can do to help the family or medical professional understand your feelings, “other things are more difficult, because you might be feeling hurt or sad or angry,” Bair said.
It’s important to make it clear that you don’t have to explain to your loved one what happened.
“Say something like, ‘You’re still hurting.
You’re still upset,'” Bany added.
“Tell them you don ‘t want to do this, but we want to help you.'”
Talk to your child.
Talking will help your child understand and understand what’s happening, Bair explained.
If your child is younger than 16, Bany recommends you discuss your concerns with your child’s teacher or a friend so they can see the consequences of their actions.
“A lot of the things that we can do that are just really helpful, they can also be really hurtful,” Bann said.
In some instances, you might feel that you need to take things into your own hands, Bann added.
Bask said that you can find ways to talk that aren’t necessarily in your child ‘s best interest.
“For example, say, if your child has been crying all day, say something like: ‘Oh my God, this just isn’t OK,’ and then say, I don’t want to